Early last year I was discussing with a colleague – no, not discussing, bitching really – about how mutual respect had declined to near zero at work. I observed how bright young toppers from highly rated B-schools became jaded in less than two-odd years. And how, the very seniors who spent time & money to sift through the hundred of applicants to make the offer to the select few had a very different and contemptuous opinion of these very people.
My colleague made an interesting observation: “in most relationships contempt increases and peaks at about three years or so”. He said he had seen it in many companies and advises that people look out for a change after about three years in one job.
The first half of Gartner Hype Cycle, which describes the market expectation from a new technology, comes close to what he said:
Today, my wife’s mentor, Guru Dr. Maya Rao, a legend in Bangalore in the field of Classic Choreography, died. She cried inconsolably for a long time, something that surprised me – as she had shed not a tear when her own mother passed away some years ago. We tried analysing this – and concluded that over the last decade, her respect for Dr. Maya Rao had grown day by day, that the gravity of contempt had not worked its black magic in this relationship.
I wonder why? Is there a learning here that we could apply to other relationships? From what I could gather, Dr. Maya Rao gave selflessly and truly celebrated the successes of her mentees. She gently prodded, corrected, suggested, advised and admonished – never once thinking about what it is it for her – it was always about the “art”.
If only managers crafted their reportees in the same spirit of focus on the organisation over their own insecurities and ego trips. For then the mutual admiration club will move them all to the “plateau of productivity”.
For when the water rises, all boats will also rise. Else it’s only downhill…
Sunil Gupta's Blog 